Some days ago I was talking to a friend about her new relationship and she told me about a situation between her partner and her. He said he loves me! Her agonizing tone of voice made me smile with curiosity. I let her talk and give me details about the fact and she said: “We’ve only been together for 4 months, it is too soon, he shouldn’t have said that yet”.
In fact I was asking myself why not saying it if you really feel it? Why should there be a previous process to express it? Is there a moment in the relationship that determines that…this is the moment?
With all these doubts, I analyzed the fact, and I must say that it is no secret for anyone that this phrase has a special value, and saying it easily makes it lose its strength and sincere sense. I love my parents, my family, my friends, and my pet, maybe because I have a different concept of “love”. However, when we talk about love in a relationship, we find ourselves in a dilemma.
Nowadays, the relationships and demonstrations of feelings go through different stages. There is a lot of fear around “love”. Popular phrases go from “the one who loves gets lost” to “do not let him/her know that you love him/her”, which has made love a complex process to understand, something that needs to be entirely planned, and even something cold.
But let us analyze each fact. The famous I like you is commonly related to the beginning of a relationship, where the couple is still meeting each other, finding out what they have in common, and commitment is not a safe option. It is a simple way to say you have feelings for the other person, but that it is still not the time for a serious commitment. So is this what “like” means? I do not believe so. Liking is closeness, bond, and it hurts not to be corresponded.
Now, love is indicative for many, when the heart and the mind are involved, fears and shame are let aside, and the feeling for the other person is bigger than all this. Wishing the best for the other person, loving and allowing yourself to be happy as you are, giving yourself to the other person without complications, knowing that you want to be with this person, not because you cannot live without him or her, because you can, but because being with this person makes you happy.
Society has worn the feelings, falsehood, and intolerance away, and judgement has built walls between what we want to say and what we actually say. We worry about expressing love too much, but we do not worry if we express too much of our hate or anger.
Let it flow without fears, and do not try to understand too much the expression and its true meaning. Let your feelings talk, and just like The Little Prince said to the rose… Do not understand it, live it!
ALFA